Reverie

The upstate of my demented, passing away into the calmness unintended;
 

Catch those souls running by, that dove which could never fly;
 

Stoned am I to have you kiss me, opiated for those apparitions I see.....

Pythein

That ringing haze in my head, one place where nothing bred;

Desolation in the farm of the dead, quenched by something dull and red;

Tangling in my legs while I run, tearing through my skin, a little pleasure a little burn;

Holding tight onto the dangling skin, the torn limbs, the broken joint, galloping endlessly to where life aroint;

A place where the phantasms at rampart, bribing with blood and flesh my vanguard;

They are the vicissitudes of this visage, the lore of a glorious forage;

Enshrined within this epitaph are those undead dreams, raising from their graves they chew through the living seams;

Infect the sentience render a philandering bereavement, the joy, the felicity, a farce of my embalmment;

The virulence of the cloying amour, no ears for that putrid clamour;

Drag that torn limb over the barbed fate, no more soul left to claudicate;

Hack me again till I smile, a sheared skin was never servile;

Like juvenility playing in splashes, my frivolity livens in whip lashes;

And then the blood bespattering, colours of a monolithic simpering;

To rot for ever they lie, be born for end is nigh…

Besotted

What is that I see, the haze past the midnight hour,

Senseless and fogged, of hoodlums near and far;

Walk this hour, in the demureness of my immodesty,

Drenched in pity, to the days a mere travesty;

The clink of souls, when I merge with the spirits without,

The parched conscience, soothed by the proliferating drought;

Lost and forgotten, unable to tread the meanders of the day,

Doused and extinguished, the cradle where my nights lay;

Dragging the sounds, were they the songs I left behind,

Swaying to the nothing, were they the beauties I would never find;

A forsaken path, I cannot keep my eyes on,

A dwindling will, there might never be another dawn;

Count my steps, they never fall where I intend,

What power is you, to whom my vigor shan’t pretend;

What way is it, how you imbibe in me the catalepsy,

What way is it, how still there remains strength in my palsy;

Inebriated tonight, there is no other lay I can sing,

Flowing in veins, you’re the poison to which my titters swing;

For the next day, I do not care for the onerous gripe,

Before that dawn, let me wallow in this intoxicating tripe…….

Forgotten

There somewhere in the corner, where memories lay dormant, mostly in a stupor, is a pot full of colors, vestiges of the shimmering glory, sequins of a life now gone. I hold a brush, trying hard to paint the canvas back, but alas, it's dry, crusty, mostly dead & forgotten.There is nothing new but redundancy and the various hues of it. Remission of remembrance, & a bit of resilience of theirs. They stay, forever.

Tears of Sisyphus

Once trickled down the blessed way, with pain, with repentance the worlds sway;

To the bidding of thee, shall stand until eternities flee;

Pushing fate up the fate – less slope, without amity, without hope;

Never to elope, never to grope, that elusive sin, conscience so allusive within;

Dwindling vigor, a spineless fervor, still bickering, still sneering;

I did not chafe the heavens, I did not revile the Daemon, prodding in the murk, never to find the bygone;

Yet I push fate on that dark slope, a perdition to my what I never could ope;

I fulfill to see it born still, to fulfill but never still be never still;

For love, to cleave be behoove, shall adhere, to no fear;

For I cry not, for I croon not, for these tears are not, for this is the toil I fought;

My debility, the obscurity of my ubiety, still obsequious, still lascivious;

I trek my promenade, to retrace it alas, my sweat my blood all rendered farce;

Could there be no redemption, a reprisal  forgiven  for damnation;

Yet I push my fate less fate over the fate less slope, undyingly glim at life lope……..

Last Lament

To die it is, but that never was my nemesis, to live is a predicament, but to live I shall not lament......

Envenenado A Vivir......

Bequeathal

Divine at thine feet, living at thy behest,

Them within, the arcane prowess, love to bequest;

Shall live, to thy east, the rising, the longing,

Forsaken by the ages on the dial, denial of any belonging;

Come, come unto me, with redemption I stand,

In lieu of atonement, shall bequeath every living strand;

Die shan’t, die not at thy lament,

Die shall I, to that beckoning scent;

Come, come unto me, to the light we shall travel,

A promenade so prolix, laden within me some gravel;

When the Sun shall set, swaying to a Nocturne’s tune,

Overture, that harmony, to glory from a mere lune;

Come, come unto me, for this is the dusk of my sanity,

Bequeathal of nothing more, but my amity………

Aemaeth Maeth

A little rouge, a little cry, some tears, some death,
 

The radiance of the end, its sprouting glory,
 

A word shall animate, effacing a part shall it fell,
 

Feel it move, inside out, from the shadow to light from animus to self,
 

Writhing in pleasure, deep within, the truth, the fountain,
 

The opium, the stupor, the haze so bright,
 

The melody of wound, in the rising smoke,
 

The specks of life in that wound, consuming the wound, to live, to kill,
 

Truth shall bring life, a syllable less shall numb that strife,
 

Paste on my temple that truth, and I shall serve the bidding,
 

Kill in Your name, die in no shame,
 

Dye me in red and black, covered in a hood, some sympathy I lack,
 

Shall kill shall die, shall live not to lie, to the truth I serve, to the truth my verve……

A Small Dedication by Ronak Mody

I miss you in every breath i take
I miss you in every decision i make
so far, that expression of yours i miss
and ur voice to me is just like a bliss

it seems as if you have become an eternal part of me
because in every blink its you whom i see
every smile you makes my heart leap
and my emotions for you are very deep
I'll be dere in every step you take
and make your life like a piece of cake
all your joys and sorrows I'll share
and with all my heart I'll take your care

i will savour each and every tear you shed
and with all my love you I'll clad
I'll be ur friend your critic your guide
You can trust me with all you confide

Amar Paasher Baarir Neera by Payal Sen

Aaj dupure jaalnaar kaachhe daariye Neera taakiyechhilo dhonyachhonno aakaashtar dike... aashepaasher shob kichhui to ekirokom roye gechhe... tobuo jeno kichhui r bhalo lagchhe na Neerar. Dekhte dekhte or chhoto chhoto chokhduto jole bhore elo. Aajkaal r bikele or ssaathe amar khubekta dekha hoyna agermoto. O ekta chhotokhato chakri korchhe. Kaajer temon kono chaap nei bote kintu or saathe amar shomoy r melena.. A to r shei chhelebyalaar school noy j morning ba day hole ayki shift a shob class shesh hobei r shei khyalaar maathe neme shobaar khunshuti marpit badhadhora! Eta byastotaar shomoy, jar jar jeebon gochhonor shomoy....

Neerar jeebontao koekta mash aage gochhanoi chhilo. Taarpor Probaal or jeebone aashatei kemon jeno raataraati shob olotpalot hoye gyalo. Chaakri ta korchhilo, kintu Neera aymon meye noy j ei chaakritei tushto thaakbe... amra onekei chaakri 1ta pelei khushi kintu Neera borabor shopno dekhechhe...boro chaakri korbe ba onek mayne paabe, temon kichhu noy...kintu aymon jaygaye chaakri korbe jekhaan theke maanusher kaachhe aashte paarbe...maanush k baanchte shahajyo korbe...taate chakrir jonyo jodi khub chaap o pore jay...taateo o pichhiye ashbena...ei chaakritaye aaraam achhe, kintu or pochhondo shoyi hoyni. Neera onyo kichhu korte cheyechhilo, bhabechhilo chakrir khetre jeebon ta guchhiye nite nite baba-ma dekhe 1ta biye o diye deben...taarpor jeebon ta jebhabe kaatbe, kaatbe. R paanchta modhyo-bitto bangali barir moto or baba ma o taader pocheesh bochhor boyesher meyer jonyo upojukto paatro khuje beraachhilen. Neera taate apotti koreni thik e..kintu mone mone thik shay o dite chayni... O bhebechhilo, "Jeebonta k chherei dilam. Erpor nijer ichhe onjayi to kono kaaj e korte parbona...kintu ki r kora...eder jaate shubidhe hoy. Tobe jeebone jodi kichhu korte parar moto jaygaye aashi...she joto bhalo bor e hok na keno...aami thik chhere chole jabo. Jaar shaathe biye hobe, taar proti kono onubhuti to r amar nei."

Ami jaantaam Neerar aage aykta shomoporko chhilo. Chheleti ok thokay r o taate bhaabe j baba ma er kotha shune biye kore neowai bodhoy thik, taate or jeeboner baadbaaki ta oshonpurno roye gele jaabe. Jeebone kauke ontoto khushi korte parlei o o khushi. Baba ma o kichhu kom chintito non Neerar jonye. Mon theke shaay na dile ja hoy - Neerar proti podei mone hochhilo, "E r ki? Amay to shei kortei hoto! Bhalolagchhena bhaable aro kothin hoye jaabe byaparta. Jeebone konodin e bhalobasha paabona, ja hochhe ba ja hobe taar opor aamar r kono motamot nei."

Dampotyo jeeboner theke or shob bhorshaa e uthe gechhilo totodine...mone bhaabto baba ma biye na korle chhaarbena, tai biye kortei hobe, aykta loker shaathe thaaktei hobe, taake bhalo na baashleo... dhok gile kanna atke rakhto onek shomoyei. Aymon shomoye Probaal Neera k ei obosthaar theke baar kore aane. Probaal jaanto Neera ei chaakri te shukhi noy, o onyo kichhu korte chaay, jodio Neera nijei jaanto na j shei "onyokichhuta" shothik ki... Probaal ok bhaabato. Ora onek kichhui aadaan prodaan korto.. Probaal er hoyto Neera k bhalo o lagto. Neera k sheta Probaal sposhto bolto, tobuo Neera jyano kothaye aykta obishwash korto, nichhok e thatta dhore niyechhilo. O dike Neerar moneo Probaal 1ta bishesh jayga kore niyechhilo jodio Neera sheta nijekeo bujhte deyni. Probaal Neera k nijer kaachhe tene nilo. Prothomdiktaye Neera Probaal er shaathe shomporko ta shay dileo, Probaal er onekkichhui maante partona ba or shaathe temon miltona. Kintu koekta din jetei bujhte parlo j moner konay Neera o Probaal er moto korei onekkichhu bhaabe ba chay - shudhu konodin moner jaalna diye uki deyni...na paowar dukkho r bariye labh to nei!

Neerar jeeboner protyekta muhurte Probaal... bhalobashar ek naam - Probaal... aj Probaal ok aymonbhaabe aagle raakhe jyano monehoy dujon dujon k bohubochhor dhore chene. Neera aj jeebon ta nijer mote baanchte parchhe. Thik jyamonta cheyechhilo hothath korei jyano shob chaahida ekbaare purno hoye gyachhe. Neera er theke beshi konodin e kichhu chayni... Probaal er shaathe o aj bhishon khushi. Baba ma k Neera bolte pareni. Neerar prothom shomporkota bhenge jaowar por theke or ma chaan ni j o kono bayrer chheler shaathe mishuk. Neera r Probaal er modhye ei aykta e shomoshya. Neerar baba ma or jonyo paatrer khonje or opor chaap srishti korchhen ebong or jeebonta jebhaabe o egiye niye jete chaay, taate apotti janachhen. Ekdike Neerar khushi onyodike Neerar baba ma er khushi. Aj Neerar shaamne duti poth... kono aykta bechhe nite hobe. Aykdike Neera or baba ma k bhalobashe ebong or baba ma or bhalor jonyo shadharon ghorer modhyobitto bangali baba ma-era tader bibahojogya meyeder jebhaabe patrostho korle daymukto hote chaan, shetai cheye eshechhen. Neera jyamon nijer icche onujayi jeebonta baanchbe bole bechhe niyechhe, thik shebhaabei or baba ma er manoshikota tao bujhte parchhe ebong mone mone koshto pachhe tader kauke kichhu na bolte paraye.

Probaal er shaathe Neerar biye ta hoyto konodin e shombhob hobena - Neera etao jaane ebong shei jonyoi Neera or baba ma k Probaal er kotha bolte parena. Probaal er cancer. R paanchta shomporker moto oder shomporko ta na holeo, oder modhye milmish ba aanondo onyo paanchta jutir theke onektai beshi. Tara o oder dekhe hingshe kore! Neera aaste aaste bhaangte shuru korchhe, eta o nije onubhob kore, kintu pechhonor jayga or nei thik jyamonta egonor jayga o or nei. O jaane j or baba ma Probaal er shaathe or shomporkota kichhutei mene neben na ebong Neera onyo kauke biye korteo kichhutei raaji noy.... She jaane koek bochhor por hoyto eka hoye jaabe - tokhon baba ma ba Probaal keu e or shaathe thaakbena kintu aj Probaal k nijer jeebon theke doore shoriye, abar o bhalobashar theke bonchito she nijeke hote dite parena! Aabaar onyodike, or baba ma jaara onek shopno niye taader ekmaatro meye k maanush korechhen, r taar jonyo ja kichhu korechhen taar mongol shaarthei korchhen - taader shomosto shopno k ebhaabe bhenge diteo Neera mon theke shaay dite paarchhe na.

Aaj shokaal thekei Neerar chokh chholchhol korchhe. Shokaal a Neerar ghum bhenge jaay aykta shopne. O dekhchhilo aykta ochena baarite shaanai er aaoaaj, egiye jete dyakhe shob mukhguloi or chena. Kichhudur egotei dyakhe or ma aykta petoler baatite holud baata niye daariye royechhen ebong baaki shobaai k bolchhen, "Ei kaamchor meyeta k niye j aami ki kori? Aajker dintaateo ayto deri kore keu ghum theke othe?....." Neera uposthit hotei or ma bole uthlen, "Ghum theke uthe uddhaar korechho! Ebaar aamaader shaathe ektu haat lagao to dekhi kaaj a!" Neera tokhon o bujhchhilona "kaaj" ta ashole ki. Kichhupor or ma or dike takiye hashlen...shei agermoton hashi, bollen, "Kaal theke to toke dekhte pabona re.." Chokhta taar chholchhol kore uthlo... Neera ektu laajuk hashi heshe mone mone bhaablo, "Dekhechho, chhele ta ghum theke uthe aamaay phone korlo na aaj!! Shobai k eriye phone ta kore nite hobe ek faanke. Oh! naa... Ma to bolechhen aj bikeler aage or shaathe ami jyano kotha e na boli... Daaraao ashuk aj, moja dekhaabo ok!" Neerar mukher hashi ta shopne dekhe Neera bujhte parlo, ma-er haate dhora baatita gaaye holuder, biye ta or e... r patroti o Probaal chaara r keu noy!