Last Lament

To die it is, but that never was my nemesis, to live is a predicament, but to live I shall not lament......

Envenenado A Vivir......

Bequeathal

Divine at thine feet, living at thy behest,

Them within, the arcane prowess, love to bequest;

Shall live, to thy east, the rising, the longing,

Forsaken by the ages on the dial, denial of any belonging;

Come, come unto me, with redemption I stand,

In lieu of atonement, shall bequeath every living strand;

Die shan’t, die not at thy lament,

Die shall I, to that beckoning scent;

Come, come unto me, to the light we shall travel,

A promenade so prolix, laden within me some gravel;

When the Sun shall set, swaying to a Nocturne’s tune,

Overture, that harmony, to glory from a mere lune;

Come, come unto me, for this is the dusk of my sanity,

Bequeathal of nothing more, but my amity………

Aemaeth Maeth

A little rouge, a little cry, some tears, some death,
 

The radiance of the end, its sprouting glory,
 

A word shall animate, effacing a part shall it fell,
 

Feel it move, inside out, from the shadow to light from animus to self,
 

Writhing in pleasure, deep within, the truth, the fountain,
 

The opium, the stupor, the haze so bright,
 

The melody of wound, in the rising smoke,
 

The specks of life in that wound, consuming the wound, to live, to kill,
 

Truth shall bring life, a syllable less shall numb that strife,
 

Paste on my temple that truth, and I shall serve the bidding,
 

Kill in Your name, die in no shame,
 

Dye me in red and black, covered in a hood, some sympathy I lack,
 

Shall kill shall die, shall live not to lie, to the truth I serve, to the truth my verve……

A Small Dedication by Ronak Mody

I miss you in every breath i take
I miss you in every decision i make
so far, that expression of yours i miss
and ur voice to me is just like a bliss

it seems as if you have become an eternal part of me
because in every blink its you whom i see
every smile you makes my heart leap
and my emotions for you are very deep
I'll be dere in every step you take
and make your life like a piece of cake
all your joys and sorrows I'll share
and with all my heart I'll take your care

i will savour each and every tear you shed
and with all my love you I'll clad
I'll be ur friend your critic your guide
You can trust me with all you confide

Amar Paasher Baarir Neera by Payal Sen

Aaj dupure jaalnaar kaachhe daariye Neera taakiyechhilo dhonyachhonno aakaashtar dike... aashepaasher shob kichhui to ekirokom roye gechhe... tobuo jeno kichhui r bhalo lagchhe na Neerar. Dekhte dekhte or chhoto chhoto chokhduto jole bhore elo. Aajkaal r bikele or ssaathe amar khubekta dekha hoyna agermoto. O ekta chhotokhato chakri korchhe. Kaajer temon kono chaap nei bote kintu or saathe amar shomoy r melena.. A to r shei chhelebyalaar school noy j morning ba day hole ayki shift a shob class shesh hobei r shei khyalaar maathe neme shobaar khunshuti marpit badhadhora! Eta byastotaar shomoy, jar jar jeebon gochhonor shomoy....

Neerar jeebontao koekta mash aage gochhanoi chhilo. Taarpor Probaal or jeebone aashatei kemon jeno raataraati shob olotpalot hoye gyalo. Chaakri ta korchhilo, kintu Neera aymon meye noy j ei chaakritei tushto thaakbe... amra onekei chaakri 1ta pelei khushi kintu Neera borabor shopno dekhechhe...boro chaakri korbe ba onek mayne paabe, temon kichhu noy...kintu aymon jaygaye chaakri korbe jekhaan theke maanusher kaachhe aashte paarbe...maanush k baanchte shahajyo korbe...taate chakrir jonyo jodi khub chaap o pore jay...taateo o pichhiye ashbena...ei chaakritaye aaraam achhe, kintu or pochhondo shoyi hoyni. Neera onyo kichhu korte cheyechhilo, bhabechhilo chakrir khetre jeebon ta guchhiye nite nite baba-ma dekhe 1ta biye o diye deben...taarpor jeebon ta jebhabe kaatbe, kaatbe. R paanchta modhyo-bitto bangali barir moto or baba ma o taader pocheesh bochhor boyesher meyer jonyo upojukto paatro khuje beraachhilen. Neera taate apotti koreni thik e..kintu mone mone thik shay o dite chayni... O bhebechhilo, "Jeebonta k chherei dilam. Erpor nijer ichhe onjayi to kono kaaj e korte parbona...kintu ki r kora...eder jaate shubidhe hoy. Tobe jeebone jodi kichhu korte parar moto jaygaye aashi...she joto bhalo bor e hok na keno...aami thik chhere chole jabo. Jaar shaathe biye hobe, taar proti kono onubhuti to r amar nei."

Ami jaantaam Neerar aage aykta shomoporko chhilo. Chheleti ok thokay r o taate bhaabe j baba ma er kotha shune biye kore neowai bodhoy thik, taate or jeeboner baadbaaki ta oshonpurno roye gele jaabe. Jeebone kauke ontoto khushi korte parlei o o khushi. Baba ma o kichhu kom chintito non Neerar jonye. Mon theke shaay na dile ja hoy - Neerar proti podei mone hochhilo, "E r ki? Amay to shei kortei hoto! Bhalolagchhena bhaable aro kothin hoye jaabe byaparta. Jeebone konodin e bhalobasha paabona, ja hochhe ba ja hobe taar opor aamar r kono motamot nei."

Dampotyo jeeboner theke or shob bhorshaa e uthe gechhilo totodine...mone bhaabto baba ma biye na korle chhaarbena, tai biye kortei hobe, aykta loker shaathe thaaktei hobe, taake bhalo na baashleo... dhok gile kanna atke rakhto onek shomoyei. Aymon shomoye Probaal Neera k ei obosthaar theke baar kore aane. Probaal jaanto Neera ei chaakri te shukhi noy, o onyo kichhu korte chaay, jodio Neera nijei jaanto na j shei "onyokichhuta" shothik ki... Probaal ok bhaabato. Ora onek kichhui aadaan prodaan korto.. Probaal er hoyto Neera k bhalo o lagto. Neera k sheta Probaal sposhto bolto, tobuo Neera jyano kothaye aykta obishwash korto, nichhok e thatta dhore niyechhilo. O dike Neerar moneo Probaal 1ta bishesh jayga kore niyechhilo jodio Neera sheta nijekeo bujhte deyni. Probaal Neera k nijer kaachhe tene nilo. Prothomdiktaye Neera Probaal er shaathe shomporko ta shay dileo, Probaal er onekkichhui maante partona ba or shaathe temon miltona. Kintu koekta din jetei bujhte parlo j moner konay Neera o Probaal er moto korei onekkichhu bhaabe ba chay - shudhu konodin moner jaalna diye uki deyni...na paowar dukkho r bariye labh to nei!

Neerar jeeboner protyekta muhurte Probaal... bhalobashar ek naam - Probaal... aj Probaal ok aymonbhaabe aagle raakhe jyano monehoy dujon dujon k bohubochhor dhore chene. Neera aj jeebon ta nijer mote baanchte parchhe. Thik jyamonta cheyechhilo hothath korei jyano shob chaahida ekbaare purno hoye gyachhe. Neera er theke beshi konodin e kichhu chayni... Probaal er shaathe o aj bhishon khushi. Baba ma k Neera bolte pareni. Neerar prothom shomporkota bhenge jaowar por theke or ma chaan ni j o kono bayrer chheler shaathe mishuk. Neera r Probaal er modhye ei aykta e shomoshya. Neerar baba ma or jonyo paatrer khonje or opor chaap srishti korchhen ebong or jeebonta jebhaabe o egiye niye jete chaay, taate apotti janachhen. Ekdike Neerar khushi onyodike Neerar baba ma er khushi. Aj Neerar shaamne duti poth... kono aykta bechhe nite hobe. Aykdike Neera or baba ma k bhalobashe ebong or baba ma or bhalor jonyo shadharon ghorer modhyobitto bangali baba ma-era tader bibahojogya meyeder jebhaabe patrostho korle daymukto hote chaan, shetai cheye eshechhen. Neera jyamon nijer icche onujayi jeebonta baanchbe bole bechhe niyechhe, thik shebhaabei or baba ma er manoshikota tao bujhte parchhe ebong mone mone koshto pachhe tader kauke kichhu na bolte paraye.

Probaal er shaathe Neerar biye ta hoyto konodin e shombhob hobena - Neera etao jaane ebong shei jonyoi Neera or baba ma k Probaal er kotha bolte parena. Probaal er cancer. R paanchta shomporker moto oder shomporko ta na holeo, oder modhye milmish ba aanondo onyo paanchta jutir theke onektai beshi. Tara o oder dekhe hingshe kore! Neera aaste aaste bhaangte shuru korchhe, eta o nije onubhob kore, kintu pechhonor jayga or nei thik jyamonta egonor jayga o or nei. O jaane j or baba ma Probaal er shaathe or shomporkota kichhutei mene neben na ebong Neera onyo kauke biye korteo kichhutei raaji noy.... She jaane koek bochhor por hoyto eka hoye jaabe - tokhon baba ma ba Probaal keu e or shaathe thaakbena kintu aj Probaal k nijer jeebon theke doore shoriye, abar o bhalobashar theke bonchito she nijeke hote dite parena! Aabaar onyodike, or baba ma jaara onek shopno niye taader ekmaatro meye k maanush korechhen, r taar jonyo ja kichhu korechhen taar mongol shaarthei korchhen - taader shomosto shopno k ebhaabe bhenge diteo Neera mon theke shaay dite paarchhe na.

Aaj shokaal thekei Neerar chokh chholchhol korchhe. Shokaal a Neerar ghum bhenge jaay aykta shopne. O dekhchhilo aykta ochena baarite shaanai er aaoaaj, egiye jete dyakhe shob mukhguloi or chena. Kichhudur egotei dyakhe or ma aykta petoler baatite holud baata niye daariye royechhen ebong baaki shobaai k bolchhen, "Ei kaamchor meyeta k niye j aami ki kori? Aajker dintaateo ayto deri kore keu ghum theke othe?....." Neera uposthit hotei or ma bole uthlen, "Ghum theke uthe uddhaar korechho! Ebaar aamaader shaathe ektu haat lagao to dekhi kaaj a!" Neera tokhon o bujhchhilona "kaaj" ta ashole ki. Kichhupor or ma or dike takiye hashlen...shei agermoton hashi, bollen, "Kaal theke to toke dekhte pabona re.." Chokhta taar chholchhol kore uthlo... Neera ektu laajuk hashi heshe mone mone bhaablo, "Dekhechho, chhele ta ghum theke uthe aamaay phone korlo na aaj!! Shobai k eriye phone ta kore nite hobe ek faanke. Oh! naa... Ma to bolechhen aj bikeler aage or shaathe ami jyano kotha e na boli... Daaraao ashuk aj, moja dekhaabo ok!" Neerar mukher hashi ta shopne dekhe Neera bujhte parlo, ma-er haate dhora baatita gaaye holuder, biye ta or e... r patroti o Probaal chaara r keu noy!

A Dream by Trisha Ghoshal

I saw myself in someplace i can only call an oasis. i knew i had landed there marooned from sort of a mishap.. this place though was funny..i found myself in a shack.. with an emaciated old man and a boy. i tried to get out of the shack but they wouldn't let me.. they kept fearing that a storm was on its way...

the wind outside would pick up momentarily and then die down.. i began to get claustrophobic and my head began to spin and swim.. at a distance i saw this lone tree in full bloom.. lush green swaying in the wind.. even when i couldn't feel the wind picking up.

then there was a blank and i found myself walking bare feet outside of the shack.. the old man stood guard with a stick guarding what looked like an old car long out of use.. abandoned there in the middle of nowhere.

I was walking barefoot  and the ground beneath my feet was clayey but coarse. In the distance the lone tree quivered and lashed every now and then. The air I felt was heavy, heavy enough to make its laden presence felt on my body as I walked past it. Yes, the air was heavy. The old old man guarding the abandoned car cried out behind me. I was expecting  the car engines to creak and echo. It was highly unnatural that it should sit there and brood and not creak. The absence of the creak echoed like drumbeats and my heart started to pound like drumbeats in my chest to make up.

The old man of course had spoken. Was it a stentorian prophetic call? Given how far away he was, it must have been. But in memories distances don’t count. And in dreams they do not even exist. So his voice comes back to me now feeble,rusty, full of false starts and sputtering.  Of the whole of the desert, he said,  this is where it rained. It rained and the tree yonder was born. It was born and it stands there swaying in living testimony. The rain wet the earth here, but she had no use for it. She retained no water and now in apology is nearly almost clay but coarse of no use. Nothing new is born here. The nothing of the old cannot be remade, how do you remodel nothing, there are not enough precedents.This place lies in indecision and we live with her, dying more, losing more, fading in indecision.  

Figments

The geniuses of life, dissolving in the imbecility within, slowly dying, slowly ending, so slow, an unrelenting  flow, a gradual demise, an importunity to surmise, the impermanence of existence, and its waning importance, importance so unconscious, the fading will to be pretentious, the pretence so livid, rooted deep and so vivid, but there is no exigency, for cherishing this delinquency, the delinquent mind and the delinquent soul, a mind a soul searching but nothing more, a frivolity with that same importunity, unknown and partial, indeterminable but all so parable, but what shall be the end of this endeavor, the same impermanence forever, but forever persistent is the strife for such an ephemeral life, an unjustifiable life, but still there shall be a battle, and all its spoils………



Homage

Precipice it is, precipice of a life,
The further they go into the relentless strife;

For every breath, for every draught under the cosmic scorched,
For every stride with sweat bled feet, a feet so torched;

Revel and revel, the contrivance of a deep revelation,
Utter dismay precipitating from every divine animation;

Sickening it is, all so malaise, conniving in and colluding out,
With vigor, with brawn, the reverberating clout;

Rise and rise, ascension to the unholy reverence,
Of bereaving self, of dilapidating might, claudicated hence,

Athirst it is, athirst so bright,
Dine in, within, the dissolving light;

Blithe are we, blithe as ever for nigh is the blade to sever,
For licentious it is, near the human precipice…….

Fractured Eternity

The mundane seeks reprisal over the peerless, shall there be peace, 

 

None in me heart, none in me soul, to every petitioner his own role, 

 

To ours is incarceration, to the underbelly of emancipation........ 

 

We shan't survive without that peace, to thy shoulder that caravan cease.......

On A Sun Tanned Night

Dropping fates, cracking lives, cleaved minds, the blood keeps reverting to my eyes from my heart;

Every length of the seething pleasure of your thoughts searing through my vision ends at every breath I take;

They were my breath, and they now stop, choking, croaking, tightening the noose, a sight of you my reds ooze;

Limping across a meadow of a surrealist’s corpse, leaping bounds and fathoms over your entailing thoughts;

The blood covered gregarious in frivolity, are my dreams of leisure, an escape to my caninity;

No redemption, no salvation, just an inherent trepidation, a trepidation of sorts, on my shadow you gave myriad blisters and warts;

Etching with a sword across the rosy bosom, within me now a thousand hatred hold ransom;

Tearing the skin, shredding the flesh, eating on my core, your every tooth afresh;

With every wound, with every scab, with every delectable scald, I pick them, I bite them, licking the pain appalled;

Cry not when I stab you on your temple, cry not when my blade bares your rouge within;

Cause I shall pull the threads with eternity to spare, cause I shall marry your peace to my snare;

My dark, my noir, my solace of hate, shall sever, shall never benefactor thy fate…………..

 

My Mother

From the sores of birth, to fulfillment so dearth;

From writhing to raise, to the unwarranted praise;

From the amour so terse, to the reverberating curse;

From the cleaved nascent cord, a taint of thy lord;

Of all the prophecies of the Oracle, hopelessness to the brim of your crucible;

Passing every moment in the vain of devoid, the imperative of my fate to avoid;

Nigh is the time for the inevitable fracture, with belief and wishes to nurture;

But a moment to steal for the sense, for a rainy prelude to the severance;

Not deserving the droplets of the heart, not demanding the couplets of thy art;

Devouring on your crimson serous, prodigy to prodigal is less amorous;

Parting to departing an underlying cleavage, cascade for the scars of the lineage;

From the bruises of the intangible castigation, bleeding from the false lamination;

To all the inanimate acrimony, to the scrupulous soul it were all a ceremony;

Below the lament of all the smother, lies the halo called My Mother.....

To Thy Bosom My Solace Lies

Dead are those days,
 
the shimmering nights, the shadowy lays,

Dim isn't thine halo, like the setting Sun,

But lack no luster from me heart,

For this shall beat and shall live where thee art.......

Placebo

Every strand, every joint, every ounce of breath, every sight, every sound, every touch across the length;
Every word, every step, every thought I bear, every tear, every frown, every simper I hear;
Every love, every hate, every ego I savour, every illusion, every life, clasping pains of myriad flavour……..

Lurching from my pain to yours, wallowing in my blood then yours, writhing in my pleasure and guffawing at yours;
There shan’t be a mitigation, there shan’t be a salvation, just a hollow dictation, just an empty incarceration;
It must bleed, it must heed, to the call, of my fate’s fall;
Arousing the cataleptic within, unwinding and serene, sometimes grotesque and galore, mostly a picturesque allure…….
   
Failing every evasion, baring every invasion, daring every ravish, a mirage to the parish;
The tiding malady, the morphing tragedy, within the laceration a drunken revel, within the charred embrace I grovel;
The silhouette, inside my pastel closet, a revelation of sorts, within my fantasy the gripe contorts;
I lie myself to sleep, I cheat my peace to leap, I bluff my tears to smiles, I hallucinate my Eden over miles…....

Blood to elixir is differing none, I wake the dusk to the slumbering sun, gadding across my self-belief of life, fallacy of my saviour’s strife;
Bribing relief into a harlot’s shoe, artifice bidding the maxim adieu, swerving within my illusion's bosom, kissing every delusion’s blossom;
Believing the presence for absence, ostracizing light in defense, conniving with the actualizing dope, plundering my immodest hope;
I need the last measurable pacification, saving the animated abjuration, losing every ends of bravado, my bereavement is my Placebo………….

To The Bright Sun Set

I am off to the shores of dismantling glory, to reap solace, to reap pace, to the decadence, to the stupor, with hope, with fervour, with undying will, to the blotted endeavour.......... !!!

Adieu......

Assorted ways of the assorted days, shimmering eyes, glittering breaths, affluent tongues, lively ails, hollow faces, tethered souls, for the dying minds were the life flows…….


Having eaten my share of pain, having drunk on my share of blood, having wombed my share of insanity, having killed my share of love……..


Fallen, disdain, malaise, where the simper lies, the eluding ends of the stupor’s visage……


Unearthed, unveiled, beyond the conspicuous vigour, the insurmountable labour, seething, severing, You, I, Us, where the inanimate die, where the light darkens, where the tears cry, where the dearth lie…...


Shall I not stare, at thy undying glare,

Shall I not feel, thine unrelenting zeal,

Shan’t I not leave, for death to weave,

A fairy tale, my last ale,

Sipping and simmering, within me a smile nearing,

Hold me till I not end, till this moment not bend,

In glory, in a story,

The end of our titter, the red stained letter..........

Freedom.......

It was blurring, faded, murky, so pure, so clear, Cathartic;

Drop by drop, bled to liberation, smiling, fulfilled;

Staring into the void, void stared back, entrenched, flickering eyes, fixed, glaring, dimming…….

Just a stroke of freedom, a tingle, a pinch, so thought, so sought, smiling, fulfilled;

That philandering emancipation, look--- there’s the play, there’s the cry, there’s the sleep……here’s the sleep…….

Loud peace, screaming calm, all sailing by, at light speed, chasing, calling, pulling, slowly, so fast, thrilling, smiling, fulfilling……….

On a rock, breathing east, tasting nascent cosmos, an arc, a circle, rejuvenation, a beginning, of a death, slowly, smiling, fulfilling………

The grin, the sweat, the entangled arms, the thinning breath, heavy, sedated, inanimate, pure, the sound of inhaled life and exhaled pride, friction, anima……..

Floating, furthering, blurring, painless, divine, dreaming axioms, cataleptic, soaring in the sky within……

Smell of glory, smell of life, smell of blood, fresh, happy, obnoxious, enriching, death, so sweet, so desirable, smiling, fulfilling…………

Auctioned, to the mundane, lost, betrothed, to demise, uplifting, smiling, fulfilling……

Lust of life ceasing in the orgasm of death, drop by drop, bled to liberation, clipped wrist, severed prophesy, broken dilemma, undying, resilient, unrelenting, Freedom………… 

Words

Cry, and smile, how different could that be.....Just two words, but a heart, soaked, and numb, a heart, like a child, in its un-rocked cradle, like love, without a soul to bear.......Like I without your palm wiping that drop of tear......Like my life without your eyes so clear........Cry and Smile, just two words, nothing but thoughts so few, mere misery like a night without You......

Some other day, some other dawn, eluding the swan's song, would heed you, in the day so new, with qualms so few, with the divine dew, life in my inanimate heart you brew, sewing thoughts of this hour, some smiles were glittering, some were sour......This hour, dark and cold, but with hope so old, enlighten the enticing night, with perhaps a befitting day so bright....................

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JECTUQVrvzE&feature=related 

The White Cascade

Let me sprinkle some colours......And perhaps a soul, and a smile, or may be a just a mile, of a talk with a walk, staring into the evening's lock, then, may be the white won't weep, some tunes to your eyes your lips might sweep........Then may be, I can fly, into my death satiated I lie........I drown, I frown, at the colourless crown, into the abyss of the heaven my broken life strown......But the white dies away, they grays are few, the pastels dimly sway, and the vibrancy is new.............

Your Glory

To the day we go, but the day's so slow, I feel the blood not rush no
more, I feel the breath within me furor, still I tread and still I
walk, the moments of bliss I stalk, and still I remain void and devoid,
and still your glory I cannot avoid..............